Monday, 20 August 2007

Jordan – How Katie sells her wares for the right Price

It appears Jordon has been through a Michael Jackson like transformation, having her breast enlarged/reduced/enlarged, along with most parts of her body and face that are exposed to the camera, which probably means most of the surface area of her body. I’ve heard she’s had her lips done (both sets, he he), nose, bum, ears, cheeks, and pretty much everywhere apart from the soles of her feet and she is having more.
So, when asked to cast my omnipresent verdict on the thing that is Jordan , you’d expect me to unleash a hitherto unseen tornado of raw yet disciplined abuse, the shockwaves which could be felt throughout the outer cosmos….BUT…

Yes it could well be true that Jordan’s brain contains a handful of cells, and that she is just about capable of conscious thought, however this rather special girl still manages to understand one thing, and it’s a thing that escapes most of the intelligent human beings out there, and that is.. How the world works. Plain and simple.

All she has done, is use that fact to create a product that will keep her in fluffy pink leg warmers till the end of time.

What us complainers don’t seem to understand, is that it takes more than a pair of great breast to stay on the cover of the press day in, day out, for over 10 years.

I can now reveal what that magic ingredient is. Jordan understands the value of exposure. That’s it, nothing else. She knows that the right amount of exposure will fuel more of it, and that she will get paid money if she maintains it. Its that simple. She is taking advantage of the way the world works, and her “product” is more eco friendly, low emission, low fat, and less harmful than half the shit that’s being peddled out there for us hungry consumers.

Don’t get me wrong, I think its immensely sad that watching and reading about Jordan , is about the level of interest in current affair that most kids these days will exhibit. But its hardly her fault. You invited her in. and you can make her go away.
But you have to do something soon otherwise your grandkids will be learning about Jordan as the woman that took over from Bill Gates, as the worlds richest person (by which time, the wolrds currency is likely to be “the boob”), and she will be held up as the text book example of the first bionic woman, after which all women will model themselves.
Is that what you want? Cos that’s what’ll happen and its wrong.

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