Thursday, 16 August 2007

Big brother - who are they and why?

Big Brother (at least the one in the UK, and I suppose the concept as a whole), should win an award... for being the epitome of everything that is currently wrong with the world.In that alone, no other "thing" can touch it, and I say "thing" as it goes way beyond media. It is truly, the definitive opus, and I can prove it.

For a start, its the ultimate swindle. In years gone by you had to have an idea to make good telly, then you had to write a script, produce it properly etc etc.These Endemol monkeys (the evil ones that produce this), have managed to make a programme out of putting cameras in a flat, and letting us watch a bunch of dragged up muppets for a few months. And we actually watch it. Shame on us. Next, its the people on the show. Now I know they are picked to amuse, and to represent the "everyman" in all that, but really, comparing this lot to people you'd have any interest in, is like comparing a juicy steak to what they use to make frozen sausages, and can "legally" get away with calling it meat.Then its my favourite, the voice of BB, the nameless Geordie who's abilities stretch to telling you the time and what he sees on the screen.I could live a thousand lives without having to hear "Eets Tooo Thhiirrii faiiff Eee Em, and Shhan-elle is Tawwkin Gob-shaii egeeen". Arrrgh.

Then there's Davina, I mean, I don't blame her for taking the job, and she seems nice enough, dresses well (I'm trying to be understanding here), but the poor girl has got some job trying to create excitement out of watching sub-humans on a screen. Having said all of that, THE worst part of BB, is... wait for it.... YOU WRONG PEOPLE THAT WATCH IT. There I've said it, and its the truth.

DO you realise that you are doing by watching this wrong programme. You are handing tens of thousands of pounds, sometimes hundreds, to the muppets that are on it.Thats right, YOU gave wotserface, the brainless idiot, a million quid. I mean why the fuck would you do such a thing, its worse that shagging your mates wife while pouring sugar into his petrol tank. Every time you make someone a toilet celebrity like BB does, you're devaluing everything that mankind has been trying to do for eons.Your children will grow up thinking that the thing they want to do with their lives, is take a magic pill, and hey presto they get everything they think they ever wanted, attention, the illusion of success, and some cash.

There wont be anyone left looking for a cure for cancer, or winning the Tour de France, they'll all be applying for BB or one of its illegitimate children.I'm deadly serious, forget poncy Global warming, poverty or the Middle East; they are truly a minor issue in comparison to what faces all of us if BB continues to flourish.In summary, Big Brother is wrong, and anyone who watches it is wrong, as is anyone who makes it. Most of all, everyone should treat you like muppets, as its only that sort of negative reinforcement that will quash the evil before us. There I said it.

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