Sunday, 12 August 2007

Just plan wrong dot com

Oscars: Worst Dressed Celebrity coverage 2007
Academy Awards time again, just in time for high schoolers everywhere to feed their prom fantasies with the good and the bad of Hollywood glam. Though last night was filled with several high notes, there were a few sour chords throughout the evening.Top 5 Worst Dress Celebs at the Oscars (and where they made their mistakes):1. Kirsten Dunst: Chanel Haute Couture. The ice blue is too light for Dunst's pale skin and pale hair. She made the same color error at Cannes. The beading looks like a 50th anniversary dinner disaster without the aid of the belt, which for whatever reason Dunst decided against. Kristen, listen honey, you know I don't like you but do the right thing and stick with more vibrant colors in structural shapes. It'll give you the curves where you need 'em.2. Beyonce: Giorgio Armani Prive. Beyonce has decided that we're all dumb and blind. Let's call it projection but who am I to act the psychiatrist? Honestly honey, we all know you have an amazing bod, do you always have to put it out there and in such a way that projects your taste deficit to the world? Cover up. You're curvy, so if you must show your shape to avoid looking chubby, leave the leg slit a little less revealing.3. Faye Dunaway: J. Mendel. When something doesn't look good on the runway, chances are it's not going to look good on a middle-aged body. Just a thought. Leave experimental shapes to actresses in their 20's so we can all just snicker and say, "She's stupid but at least she's young." By Dunaway's age you should know what looks good on you and stick with it.4. Eva Green: Givenchy. I used to have a dress like this. Back when I accidentally washed something nice with an old tea bag and then used it for a wash cloth. Don't try to dumb couture looks down for the red carpet. This dress had nice draping in the original show but by Oscar time it looks like it was fit on a potato sack instead of a model. The goth hair doesn't help the bandage-wrapped look either.5. Keisha Whitaker: Georges Chakra. From the front this look was a buttery stunner. From the back it was a human gingerbread house. This is like the Nicole Kidman's famous green dress and Halle Berry's flowered see-thru number got together and had a bastard child. I couldn't find this look on the runway so I picked another dress from the designer which looks Oscar worthy.Honorary Mention: Meryl Streep in Prada. If the movie that you were in is going to dictate the dress, don't let this happen to you. Streep appeared on the red carpet in what looked like a black taffeta bathrobe with a cinnabar necklace similar to the ones you can pocket at your local hippie digs shop.

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